Sunday, November 14, 2010

All That She Wants (the very 1st post)

Um...well...this is hard for me to write, but I need to write it. This is my very first post on my very first personal blog. And well, I am going to share something very personal.

Deep breath.

So here goes...

No drumroll please...

I am having trouble conceiving a baby.

There, I said it. This is harder than I thought it was going to be, as the tears have already filled my eyes. I don't dare say the "i" word, but that is how I am described in the medical community since I have been trying to conceive for well over a year. What is wrong? Well, I think that may be a post unto itself.

But my troubles brought me to a fertility clinic. What was the song playing in the waiting room while waiting for my very first appointment? "All That She Wants, " by Ace of Base. I just had to smile and shake my head. Now I know, I know, there is a debate about what the baby in this song actually means. Is it a child? another boyfriend? Who knows? I just don't care- to be honest. I think that music/poetry/lyrics are for the listener or reader to interpret for themselves. For me, on that very day, nerves shot and anxiously awaiting some sort of solution, it meant a child.

It is all I want.

2 comments:

  1. And your journey begins...I am sure that you have been told many stories of people who also had troubles getting pregnant and then did, so I won't add to that list...but will tell you that you are on the first step in motherhood already - the odd concept of none of this process is about you, but somehow it is ALL about you at the same time...and you are handling it beautifully. ♥

    Thank you for sharing this journey with us. Remember, we are here to feel your lows and your highs. Thank you for trusting us.

    Plus...I can't believe that was the song playing! I love your reaction...it shows what a good sense you have about you.

    Traveling confidently beside you...

    Lisa

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  2. Hi! I'm a friend of Lisa's and she led me to your blog as you are a mom-in-the-making needing support. As I think of you and your journey I pray that your road is short and not difficult. However if it proves to be more than that, know that you're not alone! Becoming a mom happen by vaginal births, c-sections, sex, IVF, artificial insemination, fostering, adoption ... and I'm sure there are ways I know nothing about other than these listed. Luckily now there are MANY different ways to become a mom and they all offer the same result ... PARENTHOOD. Best wishes on your journey.

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